Toughest Job in the Military

Disclaimer:  I very well may piss off some military spouses with this post and to them I say, “flame me in the comments or stop reading my blog.”  Also, the views I express in this post are not the views of the US Air Force, any US military branch, or the US government.

Now that that’s out of the way, let me tell you about something that pisses me off.  If you live near a military base, you’ve probably seen wives of active duty members driving cars or wearing shirts that say “Military Spouse: the Toughest (or most important) Job in the Air Force (or Army/Navy/Marine Corps).”  Are you fucking kidding me?!?!  How offensive is that?

The ground pounders will be happy to know they don't have it that bad.

You think you have  a tough job, spoiled military spouse who doesn’t work?  I DARE you to walk into BAMC or Walter Reed or Landstuhl and tell the EOD tech who got blown up disarming an IED or the Marine who took a bullet defending his men that your job is tougher than theirs.  Boo hoo, you have to live in your comfortable house with cable and AC and all your friends nearby while hubby’s gone for 6-12 months or more on deployment.  Cry me a fucking river you spoiled bitch.  You want to know who has a tough job?  The CE troops building the infrastructure in Afghanistan, the crew chiefs and port dogs and maintainers working on the flightline in the blistering heat, the medic in the ER receiving injured troops.  You, my dear, do not have a tough job.

I'd rather be a military spouse than do this job.

Pretty sure this Marine has a tough job.

People forget how tough it can be on the medical side.

Sure spouses are important.  They support the active duty member and take care of things while they’re away.  However, if it was that important of a job, we’d all be issued one upon commissioning or enlistment.  I’ve deployed several times without the benefit of a dutiful spouse waiting at home for me and it worked out just fine, thanks.

I'm not saying it's not hard to be a military spouse.  It's certainly harder than being the spouse of an investment banker or an accountant or a Wal-mart manager.  I do appreciate what military spouses do.  I've been deployed and received a care package from a military spouses group.  (though I think they forget that women deploy too)  The majority of military spouses are wonderful people who have excellent coping skills.  Unfortunately, it's the pains in the ass that are the most visible.

 What I think some of these wives forget, is that none of them are actually IN the military.  They did not enlist or commission as a wife.  It’s not an AFSC or MOS.  If they wake up one day and decide they don’t want to be a military spouse anymore, they can and do pack up their stuff and run back home to mother.

While I’m on the topic, I recently saw a spouse with a shirt that read, “Don’t Confuse YOUR Rank With MY Authority.”  Oh really?  Well honey, I’d like to advise you not to confuse your HUSBAND’s rank with MY authority.  You are a civilian.  I earned my rank and the authority that goes with it.  I don’t care what rank your husband is because I still outrank YOU.

Rule 5: Military spouses are great, but some of them need a little perspective.

Perspective

The Dixie Chicks Have Never Bought Me Dinner

As you may or may not know, I've been in the US Air Force for a number of years.  As a result, I've had experiences most people will never get to have. 

Like hanging out in a bunker reading Heinlein during a rocket attack

In 2009 I was deployed to Kandahar Air Field, Afghanistan to open a clinic for US Air Force members.  It was my first deployment in nearly 8 years of service and was nothing like what my training had prepared me for.  For one, it was a NATO base with a large population of Canadian, British, Dutch, and a dozen more European countries.

The Brits had the best coffee house.  You could get chocolate cake that tasted just like back at home.  The Dutch had a bar where the US forces were only allowed to drink near beer.  The German Post Exchange was everything you would expect from a German military shop...full of knives and other military gear.  The Canadians, of course, had Tim Horton's.  And the French...they had an amazing bakery where you could get a latte and croissant when you got tired of eating breakfast in the chow hall.

Afghanistan has one color...dust

On a deployment like that, one day starts to look just like another, so you look for things to break the routine and give you something to look forward to besides another day just like the previous weeks.  USO tours are great for this.  Personally, I was hoping to see my future husband, Henry Rollins, in Afghanistan on a USO tour, but he's been playing hard to get for years.  So when Toby Keith came to KAF that summer, a large percentage of Americans on base turned out to see the show.

Now I know that the popular thing to do is dismiss Toby Keith as an ignorant redneck.  What pisses me off about this is that this perception didn't start until he started publicly supporting the troops.  Before 9/11 Toby Keith was just like any other popular country artist, writing songs about drinking, cowboys, trucks, and women.  After 9/11, however, when all those other country stars (and rock and pop stars) were standing on stage in cushy air-conditioned venues professing their support for the troops, Toby Keith got on a plane to the sandbox to tell us to our faces.

Not pictured: Blistering heat and random rocket attacks

The show he did while I was in Kandahar opened with our US forces commander directing us what to do if a rocket attack happened during the performance.  That wasn't just a long-shot what-if scenario either.  At the time, we were getting rocket attacks about 3 times a week and Keith's last show at KAF was interrupted by an attack. 

Once the show started, he played all his songs about drinking, cowboys, trucks, and women...and for a little while it was like I wasn't in some shit hole in Afghanistan.  Then, there was a quiet moment, broken only by the sound of a single guitar before Toby Keith came in with the opening lyrics to "American Soldier."  The crowd was full of US Soldiers, Marines, Seamen, and Airmen.  Some joined in, "I will always do my duty, no matter what the price." Some gathered their friends, arms around their shoulders.  Some stood quietly, eyes filling with tears.  One of the most moving experiences of that deployment was standing in that crowd full of people singing, "I don't want to die for you, but if dying's asked of me, I'll bear that cross with honor, 'cause freedom don't come free," because I knew we all meant it and because I knew that some of those in that crowd would have to prove it.

For the final song of the night, Toby Keith played a song that he wrote after 9/11 and for months only played for the troops.  It was only recorded at the request of the Marine corps Commandant..."Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue (the Angry American)."  The entire crowd raised a fist in the air as we all sung along at full volume.  I briefly wondered if he would censor "we'll put a boot in your ass; it's the American way," since we were on a NATO base, but I later realized how silly that was to think Toby Keith cared about being politically correct while performing for US troops.  That line was probably the loudest part of the show.

As the event concluded, Toby Keith addressed the crowd and told us how much he respects us and how much our service means to him.  Then he offered to buy us all burgers and beers when we got home.  He said if we went to any of his I Love This Bar & Grills and showed our military ID, we'd get a burger and beer on the house.  I got mine in Vegas the following November.

Rule #4: Celebrities should put up or shut up.